Life's Too Short: Choosing Happiness Over Everything

“Life’s too short to even care at all.”

As I turned my car on, those were the first lyrics I heard on the radio. It got me thinking, those few words, lined up in one sentence, in one song had it completely right. It really couldn't have said it better.

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Why waste your breath on the things, people or emotions in life that just don’t matter? As silly as it sounds, this song and these lyrics couldn’t have played at a better time for me. It’s easy to get overwhelmed with life, want everything to play out perfectly, want to accomplish all your goals at once or even want everyone to like you. It's easy to get caught up in your own problems, but in the end it doesn't mean anything.

For me, I know I have to remind myself to take a step back and not let my emotions get the best of me. What stresses me out now; won’t stress me out a week from now. The people that don’t like me; won’t matter a few months down the road.
Getting in a silly argument with someone I love; will eventually be solved. That’s the thing, eventually all of it will go away – all the complications, the arguments - soon they'll all be forgotten. 

At 13, my mom passed away. I never knew something positive could come out of a situation that was so devastating. I learned at a young age that life is truly too short to care about the trivial things - the people or the things that don't matter. Or the people that don't care for you.

Remember to laugh with your friends, to spend time with the ones that matter and most of all, tell them that you love them.


That is what's important in life. 

15 Things I've Learned As A 20-Something-Year-Old

Sometimes I want to press rewind to my 21-year-old self, but hey I’ve learned a lot these past 2 years and I don’t regret a thing (ok, maybe those straight bangs I got to channel my inner Zooey Deschanel - that was just a bad idea).

 { Patio cocktail parties are all more fun post-grad. Hello champagne. Ok, cheap champagne, but still champagne. }

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I never thought I’d say this, but so far I’ve had a hell of a blast being out of college. I’ve learned a few things along the way too. Naturally, mostly about wine. 

1.     Painting my nails is not necessarily my strong suit. However, going to get a mani is definitely something I do pretty damn well.

2.     Being 5 minutes late is practically being on time, right?

3.     Life moves on – whether you’re ready or not. It’ll keep passing you by if you don’t slow it down just a bit.

4.     Time with your friends cures just about anything. Even if it is the day from hell – laughing with them, cocktails in hand is actually the remedy. 

5.     Move at your own pace. You’re where you are for a reason; don’t feel the need to get engaged, pop some babies out and be an exec at work in approximately 1 year. It won’t happen. 

6.     QT with yourself should always be a #1 priority. Binge watching Netflix, in your PJs, with a glass of vino is important. If you must, add it to your to-do list. In black ink.

7.     It’s ok that the ‘work you’ is different than the ‘home you’. Even if it’s just your outfit choices.  

8.     Finding time to be tan is no longer on your to-do list. *Note: never be tempted to use Jergens, you will be orange.

9.     Bribing yourself with coffee stops before work is actually a normal thing. It can also make your day.

10. When days are rough, shop. (See #4 for one hell of a bad day cure)

11. Looking put together doesn’t necessarily mean you are put together, but hey no one else knows that.

12. Dating after college is a damn part-time job. At least according to my girl friends.

13. Being indecisive on your cocktail-of-choice can actually be a good thing. Hey, I never knew I would’ve rekindled my love for champagne again. My sophomore-in-college-self would be proud.

14. Be picky in everything. Hey, if you don’t show some high expectations in all aspects of your life, who will? Don’t settle for friends who consider you a wiping post or boys that don’t treat you well.

15. Find something you’re passionate about and go get it. No one can stop you, but yourself.

Life as of Lately

Hey Friday, fancy seeing you here already. For real, this week has flown by - um, hello almost-September? 
For me, this week has been full of time with friends and that is something I love. A lot.

{ Happy hour with a fellow blogger over bellini's, of course. }

Post-college/being in the 'real world' has taught me that grabbing drinks with friends after work is the equivalent to a dull college night. In the 'real world', it's actually quite wild. Funny how something so small changes after college ends. I mean are we all old now? Can I be 21 again? I miss you, Hokie House. *Crying*

Besides one (or 5)  amazing cocktails (River + Rail's 'Solution' margarita is amaze-sauce), this week has given me time to reflect on where exactly I want this blog to go. A colleague has been giving me so much advice/ideas on the posts that I could feature on here and been pushing me to really give this thing a shot. Let's just say its been a week filled with motivation - I can feel my heart beat a little bit faster because hey, I really think I can do this.
 

{ Late dinners with cocktail hour before are my favorite. }

I have so much I want to do on this blog - everything from makeup reviews, posting my personal outfits, investing in a professional camera, switching this bad-boy to WordPress and actually getting someone to design this thing for me. I know I'm getting a little ahead of myself (because damn, there's so much I want to do on here), but I really don't think I'm going to stop.

I want to make this big. It's about to happen. One-baby-step at a time.

{ Layering bracelets is my new love. }

{ French 75s are back and better than ever. Ask me for the recipe, I got you. }

{ Scrolling through pictures the other day + I forgot how beautiful Roanoke really is. }

Embrace the Simplicity

Life is full of many moments. Some small, others large – but the teeny moments, those tend to mean the most.

For me, I feel like every single moment should be built on a large scale. Having a dinner date should be an event – everything and anything should be well-thought out, planned and mapped out. In this case, I'm the planner. Planning everything from what I’ll be wearing to what I’ll be drinking (hello Malbec) to the emotions I’ll be feeling.

It's exhausting.

I need to stop; relax and treasure the tiny moments. Dinner dates that include Mad Men episodes, sushi and silly company are the ones that really mean the most. I won’t remember the edamame, but I will remember putting chopsticks in our mouths like the narwhal in Elf. Yep, we’re that kind of goofy.

Stopping the car to take a quick picture of a gorgeous view (even if it means I’ll be 2 minutes late to work) makes me realize that I need to slow down, relax and treasure the small moments. Not everything needs to be planned – the littlest moments are the ones to savor.

Take it from me, pour yourself a glass (or two) of wine, kick your heels off and enjoy the simplicity of your life - it's really a beautiful thing.

Blue Print of Life

Ever feel like life has blue prints for exactly how you’re supposed to live? Or maybe it should? Maybe we all need a user manual. Cue: an architect and/or engineer.
 

Engaged at 25, married at 26, kids at 29, somewhere between all that jam in backpacking across Madrid, moving to New York City, shopping at Ikea for mod furniture, starting a new job, getting a promotion, etc. It’s a whirlwind, but it’s the standard norm for a young "adult" trying to conquer the world. Should I be tossing my job to the side, packing a North Face backpack and jumping on a jet plane to travel the world at the drop of a hand? Should I have already crossed these off my list? 

Sometimes I have to remind myself to slow it down - take a break from looking at others lives and their accomplishments and focus on my own. It sounds easy, it really does, but sometimes getting caught up in how others are living their lives makes it feel all the more acceptable to be following their paths. Feeling as if, “Wow maybe I should be getting my own place now” or “Should I be traveling the world instead of working?” It’s confusing and overwhelming. Maybe Robert Frost can help...cross your fingers.


“Two roads in a wood and I -- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”

Boy did Frost put the pressure on with this one. I’m still quite figuring out what I’d do in that situation - take the road less traveled or most traveled? For now I’d say screw the less traveled and most traveled roads, make your own road. This time forget the pavement, car or hell even the game plan, and make your own - you’ll get where you want in your own time. Key words: own time.

Life is an emotional battle between the so-called typical path-of-life and finding your own place in this chaotic world. For now, I’m happy where I am. Everyday my answer isn’t the same, but isn’t that what’s so special about life - the unknown? Right now I’m perfectly content and that in itself makes me happy.

Quarter Life Crisis at 22-Years-Old

Being in your 20s is the time when your college “fantasy” world and the real world, the stereotypical 9-5 job, coincide.  In a bad way. It’s the time where living with your parents to “save money” (insert: rent, utilities, shampoo, a personal cook, free Bravo, etc.) is suddenly your go-to line to anyone and everyone who asks about your so-called “situation.”  So you don’t have a job, so what?  Because watching the newest episode of The Real Housewives of NJ and actually having cable and TiVo, obviously takes precedence over anything else. 

Let’s be honest, being a 20-something-year-old is really figuring out who you are, who you want to be, and how exactly you’re going to afford those double vodka sodas 4-days a week. For now, I’ll give you some advice from a 20-something-year-old who’s still trying to figure it out.
 

Take time for others yourself:

Take it from me when I say “me time” is beyond necessary. Get in touch with your self and what you enjoy doing (no, this doesn’t include drinking).  You’ll probably have a ton “me time” because most of your friends have either a) completely left town and/or have moved to a new town b) are pulling the Van Wilder and are still in their college town finishing their degree or adding a new one c) are hibernating in their parents house and haven’t been seen in weeks. “Me time” can be described as doing an activity that makes you feel some sort of happiness - ex: a newfound addiction to hot yoga classes, grabbing your laptop and heading to a local coffee shop to try every espresso drink on the menu or perusing a local book store and snagging a quick read or hell, even working out in the AM just because the waking up early aspect makes you feel like a badass. Whatever makes you happy. 


Pay homage to your parents

You live under their roof, therefore, their rules apply. Sound familiar? Thought so. For me, the biggest game-changer is moving back home. Checking in with your parents is definitely a buzzkill. Sneaking back into your house at 2am is sounding a little like your high school days, however, free food, electricity and HBO somehow makes your “situation” a little better...or maybe the more you say it to others, the better you feel? Either way, make sure to make your rents feel like you’re extremely grateful they’re letting you camp out in their basement for a few months…or year. Try unloading the dishwasher, actually loading the dishwasher (with normal dishes not Solo cups) and maybe even volunteer to DD your parents - yes, I said it. 


Single?

Everywhere you turn, or scroll, there’s a new insta pic of a girls fresh mani accompanied with a sparkler on her left hand. It’s the unspoken newly engaged protocol to post a picture of ones diamond ring and hashtag it with anything related to #IFeelSoSpecial, #LoveIt #OmgYayyy. If you can’t help but want to throw up in your mouth, you’re not the only one. Most of the time I can’t help, but think it seems so quick, so sudden - yes, there are those couples who are destined to end up together, hell they basically act like a married couple (ex: never seeing them in public since they started dating or their names end up turning into 1 combined name), but for the rest of the newly engaged, I must ask - why? Most of the time when my family asks why I’m not engaged or ready to settle down (mostly during the holidays) it’s usually a quick, “I mean what’s there to rush?” They laugh and move on to the next subject, that is, until the next holiday. I’m not saying that everyone is making a mistake, but for me and the rest of you 20-something-year-olds, I say flaunt your relationship status - travel, collect moments, date, don’t date, focus on your career, meet people you won’t forget, focus on your love for late night pizza or Nutella, your love for Girls, but most of all be selfish because now is your time. 

 
Be pro-spontaneity 

Right now most of us don’t have plans - it’s scary because college has been 4 years of knowing (well at least for most of us) where we’re supposed to be, what classes we should be taking, what bars we’ll be at 4 days a week, but now we have no idea where we’ll end up in 10 years, much less tomorrow. We don’t know what our first job will be, or when we’ll get married or have kids. It’s scary, but it’s reality. Looking back at my planner in college my life was easy, but most of all my life was written out for me in black ink. Not knowing where we’ll be in the next few years is the norm for all of us, but we must appreciate the unknown and learn to accept that there shouldn’t be guidelines for how we live our lives.  Embrace the spontaneity of life - take that last minute trip to visit your friends, don’t make plans on a Friday night, but most of all realize life isn’t meant to be planned or predicted. Make your own path - and if you must write it, write it with a pencil.


No New Friends

Maybe DJ Khaled knew that his “No New Friends” song would perfectly depict making/having friends post-graduation. I’d like to think so - props to you, DJ Khaled, props to you. The days of hitting the bars with friends after class (or during class) are over. Sigh. The most difficult part of post-college life is probably losing your friend base to new jobs, new cities, etc, etc, etc. When I’m with new friends I often find myself worried they won’t get my sense of humor, my lack of coordination, my goofy personality or my love for blasting music in my car with the windows down. I mean who doesn’t like blasting Iggy Azalea’s “Murda Bizness” and driving with the windows down in 40-degree weather while simultaneously laughing uncontrollably? Am I right or am I right? These weird tendencies we share with our closest friends are what I remember most about college. Tom Petty was right, we don’t remember the exams we crammed for or the late nights we stared blankly at our laptop screens for any kind of hope to finish a research paper, but we remember the moments we shared with friends. Making new friends post college is different - now we must keep our drinking to a minimum (a night of drunken fun is now referred to as “networking”) we must pretend to act professional in pencil skirts, lipstick, cashmere cardigans and engage in conversations that don’t give away that we still feel like we’re in college. To put it simply, networking has taken the place of our so-called college definition of making friends. Now we casually grab drinks with co-workers, mingle, exchange business cards and pretend we’re all adults, but deep down we’re all still college kids.